bureocracy, because once again, it is almost the beginning of the school year for universities. I had this topic prepared for upload for friday, but it just got deleted somehow, so I am rewriting and posting it on Saturday (for followers on Twitter, remember that I am in GMT: +1:00 zone). First of all, this topic was mostly philosophical, based on psychology, and it was a pure "theory". But I think that I should done it more practical for now, with some more practical events, because there are people out there, that may need help, so they could reflect on something, and be sure that they are not alone. Yes, it may sound "cheesy" and stuff, but consider it as a fact, because statistically it isn´t possible to have unique problems, because if people had those, even science could not make a progress, because through our differences we would hardly see the thruth... just to assure you. This disbelief is mainly spread, because of our imperfection to create good social connections. Even though this topic was firstly named "Are good people like a pignut?", and it was just a (psychological and philosophical) view on the situations of how we find people that we "click" with, but for now, I try to apply some experience that I have and I try to touch more topics than before. Read it objectively, and try to think about it. Also it may seem to you, that some of your problems aren´t yours at all, but keep in mind, that some of these words can act like an allegory for some troubles that you have, because at the end, stories are about the effect of message, even if they don´t have a message, the effect would still occur. Lastly, I am not generalizing all peoples problems to a one "sack", but you need to realize that at the end of our life, we will die alone, and nobody will die for us at the end, and may it sound too harsh as it sounds, it is the truth that some of us are dealing with it right now, and some of us will deal with it later, and no one will be spared. Even the most last thoughts or words of people that are dying are: "If I have done that/ If I was more like...". So let´s sit down and have a talk like people, that we are.
Fight the beast which you are
I know it is hard to think logical and causal, when emotions are clouding your mind. The eternal feeling that this mood you have would last forever, strikes like lightning unexpectly every time. But you remember the times, when every cloud shatered and you feel the happiness again or even release? This is the circle of life, you go up and down. Words are just wind from lungs, so what really affects you is you, the beast. At the cloudy mood, when you feel down you don´t even realize that you start to idolize others. Comparing, and analyzing is the case. And that´s wrong. As I said before, try to not compare because they are the same people as you. They see your body and movement on action you take, on words you speak, but at the end, the "observer" is behind their eyes, like you are in yourself. Everybody is lonely in their body, but at the same time we are all united.
The other "cloud" is your ego. Sometimes you don´t even realize that you are playing macho. Do you realize that you are only responding to your inner troubleness? If it wasn´t true, than how come we have psychiatrist and many more things of our modern world? Do you really think that troughout the history not even one person had that problem? Be kind to yourself, and that means, be honest to yourself. Don´t judge who you are, don´t use that tool that was given us to biologically diferentiate things (not persons, but really just stuff, our inteligence is the cause that we use tools to situation that aren´t corespondent to it), so we can know what is good for us. Realize that, some of us have the gift of seeing things, but it also comes along with the curse of prejudice, directly connected to our unconscious part. And when this part is affected, it starts sendings waves that affect our other parts, like who we are, our behaviour, and our body (not only in a"visual and health" way). You can see that I didn´t mention personality, and this is because personality is just generalized definition of percieving us from the view of others, and tell me, as a human, you have only an one page in your soul? That´s why you shouldn´t trust test of personality completely (that are many on the internet), and rather start discovering yourself, because it is a shame to use only a quarter of the great soil for a beatifull garden.
I don´t want to say to you that start something new, start going out and find new people, because that should be basics, and it IS the basics, for you. How do you think that Einstein felt, when he wanted to do something that he was interested in, and he ended up with an ordinary job at first place? Don´t use tools that are you, againts you. Forget about your ego that is pushing to some aim, and mainly don´t make it as your first and firm priority. The journey of life for you is about the story you make, the aims you achieve, are for others to see. We often get really confused, because we think that we would be happy if we get something that we want and people will be cheering at us, but many those that achieve something, realize that it wasn´t about the others at all. What they really wanted was cheering from themselves. Change your perpective of things, take the time to do it so. Learn to be patient, because many people lack of it. Youtube channel Soulpancake done many good videos, called The Flipside, that make you realize things. And beside learning how to be patient ( mainly on yourself, and yes, you can be a "chilled" person, but it doesn´t mean that you are patient in true meaning of the term) you also need to learn realizing, before memorizing. Watch this video from them called Family business, and try to reflect in to the position of every person that is in it, every time you watch it again. Don´t try to reflect on everybody at the same time, because you would only get a mixed and confused massege. Just take your time to watch it. Realize that the persons that appear, are living their lives, before even appearing in the video. And every time you watch it, watch it till the end to have an objective perspective of people, and take time to think about it. Otherwise you are reading this without use, because the part of our lives when we realize something, is the part when we change and we achieve (or it just leads to) our true happiness (either is temporal or not).
Some of us will think that this video is off the topic, but is it really? Realize, that everybody is having some backround behind them, and it is common for us to be blinded by it, as we haven´t enough blindfolds already. But that isn´t true. The only blindfold is ourselves, because as I stated before, we sometimes misuse some of our tools, mainly BECAUSE of something, because after all, it is our unconscious way to fix something in our lives, and at the same time, it is also calling for help. Be aware of yourself. Understand yourself. REALIZE yourself.
I had a friend once, that at the first glance you would say he is fun, outgoing and even charismatic. But when you get to know him more, he looked to you like a narcistic/egoistic, or even sociopathic "attention whore". He was trying to appear as the best and he tried to let you think of him that way, he even tried to supress your personal standing and status to be under his. He tried to manipulate people and take full of control of them, their lives, their actions, and even their minds. The truth of his actions was, that he had an abusive drunkard dad, and that was his way of trying to achieve peace around him and making a stable ground that every person needs. He failed to realize what he was doing, and mainly WHY he was doing such things. He was looking for safety and peace beyond his family, well, he tried to create it unconsciously with his friends, that many left him for this. But if he realized where the problem was, that his was becoming his dad, that he feared, the situation for him would change. By seeking attention and "worship", he forget who he was at the beginning. Many people are looking for inner security somewhere outside on (not in) other people, but think, it is reasonable to search such things, when everybody doesn´t even know the answer, that others are searching their whole lives, like we do? We are us at every beginning that we start.
For example, if you are in deppresion, because you are a single mother, that worries about how she feeds her children tommorow, did you realized that your kids don´t need your money? Food and stuff "needs" money, or more like, other people "need" money to give you things for others. There are many people that have lives like this, and they are thinking that they are alone, but they are not. You need to realize and than admitt your situation. You can ask other people nicely to help you out, but sometimes we mix up our pride with self-confidence, which slef-confidence is not a bad thing, but pride is. As for the single mother, life of her children depends on hers, and think about it, isn´t it selfish to depend on the opinions on others? Is it even selfish to depend on the opinions of others, not taking aspect of your current situation? You may say, that you need to be strong for them, but that is a lie. You need to be strong for yourself. Some of us get that "vibe" from the word "strong" as something that we must fight for, that it would take time, that we don´t have enough power for fighting to achieve this, or even when we achieve it, we can not hold it for too long. The problem is that we are already fighting. That dark emotion is just an alarm, and by supressing it or by choosing wrong solutions, it make us feel tired, and even it makes our minds more darker. The truth about the word "strong" , is that it is the word "normal" in disguise. Don´t fight your alarm, just be aware of it.
The worse part is that we got distracted by actual problems sometimes, that some of them didn´t need even to be solved, because they are only a new coat that we builds up like a snow ball on the basic problem that we accepted as "something that happened we need t move on", or we just refuse it, or even forget it. And now as you can see, we are back at honesty to oursleves, we just completed the whole circle of dispair. You love someone and they don´t like you back? Why are you sad from it, even if you know they wouldn´t act like you imagine, and they wouldn´t fulfill your life? You are in denial that you are gay? Would fulfilling things that are expected from you make you happy like those people that are expecting something from you? Do you realize that day someday, or left you and you would be left with your life shaped by others? Would you be happy? Even if you are just forced to some situations, like take care of your elderly parents, or feeding your kids, it doesn´t mean that you should supress yourself, quite the contrary.
Explore yourself, that´s when we are really growing up.
See ya next time ;)